As It Comes To An End

In less than 48 hours this year will end. We leave behind 2016 and enter another year of hopes, promises, dreams, and much more. We will spend the next few months writing 2016 on our papers before we finally get it right. Some of us will be looking forward to this year with joy because maybe God showed himself to be the 11th hour God that He is and has blessed or maybe you’re dreading the New Year because you have lost someone. Maybe you’re anxious and scared because you have no idea what this year will bring. But regardless of how you feel you must take a moment and remember this: the same God that was with you these last 365 days is the same God that will be with you in this next year. He is still faithful. He is still good and He is still love. I’ve taken many of you on a journey with me this past year. I have shared my ups and some of downs. I been transparent about many things in my life. I even published my first book. It’s been a tough year for me but by the grace of grace of God I made it. By His faithfulness, I have experienced His love, His mercy, His forgiveness, His joy and His goodness. And even on the days where I cried myself to sleep this year, the days when my heart was broken or the days where my selfishness and stupidity led me down a path of pure destruction, He was still there with arms wide open. And if God never does anything else for me, I wouldn’t be mad because He has done enough.

But if you were to ask me what I am most thankful for this year, you might be surprised by my answer. Because before I opened my mouth to speak, I would smile. I would get this goofy look on my face and a tear might even fall down my cheek. I would take a deep breathe and I would say, “I am most thankful for my best friend.” I won’t expect you to understand but I’ll know what I meant. Because this year God allowed me to have an angel in my life–My best friend. Someone who has loved me beyond my understanding. Who sees the God in me that I don’t even see. Who has forgiven me countless times for breaking his heart, for making him bare the weight of my insecurities, my selfishness, and the darkest parts of me. God blessed me with an angel who knows the true meaning of love and forgiveness. A person who brings out the best in me. Who challenges me to be better and to do better. Who prays with me, cries with me, and fights for me more than than I fight for myself.  A person who I know God sent just so I would know that my Abba is good and faithful and loving. I don’t deserve him because sometimes I still don’t see what he see in me that is worth fighting for. But each day that I am able to be in his life, I learn more about the grace of God. I learn more about the woman he sees in me and I pray that I become that person one day because he inspires me to be just that. This year, I don’t know what my life would have been without my best friend. This year had triumphs, it had loses, it had hurt but it had him. And for that, God outdid himself in my life once again. I’ve never met someone that loves me the way he does. I’ve never meant someone whose laughter and presence reminds me of heaven. Because I know I am the child of a King, I know that I will get the best of the best but this one breaks the mold. I am not perfect and I am not always good to him. I will work on that. And his love and patience allows me to as I figure things out for myself. So again, this year was not perfect but it was good and it was God and I was blessed. I have grown and I am growing into a woman who will be honest, kind, loving, patient, wise, understanding and a light. And everyday he reminds me that that is where my fate and my destiny lies.

So as the year ends, I pray that you reflect on the good and the bad. I pray that God soothes any hurt you still feel from this year and I pray that He removes any anxiety about the next. If I have learned nothing this year, I have learned this: I am nothing without God. I am nothing without His love, His grace, or His forgiveness. And even when I didn’t feel worth it or deserving, He still still gave me an angel, my own piece of heaven. And for that, I am grateful. I am thankful that God still blesses us with things we don’t deserve just because that’s the kind Father He is. So thank you Abba. And To my best friend, Kosi Uzodinma, thank you for being everything that God intended you to be. Thank you for loving me despite who and what I can be. Thank you for showing me that love is more than pretty words and statuses.

And to my readers, I hope you found what you are thankful for. I hope you hold on to the good and not the bad. And if that is hard to do, then hold on to God in the midst of the bad because He is still there. Still waiting for you and still has doors to open for you

 

XOXOXO,

Happy New Year

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