House Broken

Her home was broken into today

She was laying in bed silent

Trying to escape back into the safety of the sheep she had been counting

She could hear banging and scratching

deep shallow breathes

She could only imagine what joy he was getting taking everything that was hers

She imagined he had a gun or maybe a knife to force her cooperation

She wanted to run, to scream but nothing happened

So she kept her eyes closed and prayed

Prayed he would take what he was hungry for and leave

Leave her, alive or even just breathing

She never realized until that moment that someone could make her feel so uncomfortable in her own home

Remove the ground from beneath her

Taking everything she worked for as though it was theirs for the taking

When he left, she was too scared to breathe fearing he would hear her and come back

He left everything exposed

Took her joy and safety with him

Left the scent of his audacity wrapped around her neck

When the cops arrived told her he entered through the front door with a crowbar

As if she didn’t know

As if she wasn’t home too

The police officer eyed her up and down

Asked why she didn’t have insurance

Why she didn’t have a security system set in place

asked her what she was doing that night

why a beautiful girl like that would live alone in a neighborhood like this

A neighborhood like she wanted to scream

One filled with roses and trees tall enough to reach heaven

A neighborhood with body parts now on fire

A neighborhood you would never step foot in

He told her she could have prevented it

She responded, “Sir this temple, I mean this home was broken into tonight

And I have guarded her with my life

Sir I didn’t ask for this

Sir maybe I couldn’t afford protection

Sir, I was wearing my pajamas

The same one’s Momma gave me before I left home for college

Sir you can’t insure this temple from such violation

Sir none of that matters

What matters is that my temple was broken into tonight

That man noosed his hands around my neck

Red sea his way between land his Name was never Moses enough for

Discovered a body that was already sanctified and paid for and names himself Columbus   

Sir, that man dug beneath my beautiful

Sir…”

He wrote the report, handed her his card and said they would let her know if they found anything

He never asked for her name

Never asked how if she was ok or if she could phone a friend to come and comfort her

He never asked if she had anywhere to stay that night not knowing she didn’t know how to stay there, in that body, in that skin, but I think she means in that house

She looked down at the card and saw his name… Society

She wanted to scream, again

But did nothing

Unable to move

Yet trembling

Wondering why her temple didn’t seem to be holy and sacred enough to be feared, respected

Why her No’s never made it into his ears

Hours turned to days

Days to weeks

Weeks to months

And the flood hasn’t stopped

Her house constantly flooding and she wonders if anyone else knows what it’s like to live in a home that become just a house you don’t even feel is yours anymore

Each morning, a sick joke she never asked to be a part

Each morning, reminding herself to breathe, to live

Reminding her house that it is still hers but watching it revolt and burn

How do you stop a fire that burns from the inside out

Engulfs you whole but all people see is manicured lawn, a nicely painted house never wondering if it’s as put together and perfect on the inside

How does she explain silence and pain to a world that doesn’t even see her as person

And no! Don’t quote her some mess from a self-help book

Don’t tell her to pray

Don’t tell her it gets better with times

And that this will make her stronger

But tell her she’ll feel at home in her body again

Tell her that her No is not synonymous with open house

Tell her it wasn’t her fault

That he was wrong

Tell her that her body belongs to her and only her

And not to men who are too coward to love or ask permission

Tell her life is more than just waiting for nightmares to become reality

Tell her that her one day husband’s touch wont feel like violation or invasion

Tell her, she will have a one day husband

See her and know he took a soul that night

That even if he is ever found they will only try him for breaking and entering but forget of the life he took that night

Forget of the murder he committed

Forget that only difference between being murdered and raped is that one of them has to carry the corpse around

Tell her she is more than just the one in three girls who are broken into each year

Tell her justice is real and not just a figment of her imagination

Or something she should stop praying for

Tell her these nightmares will stop and that one day she will dream again

That one day every stare from a human being won’t feel like violation

Or Make her want to hide and run only to remember she has nowhere to run to

Tell her her body, her temple is not just a crime scene, a home invasion everyone keeps blaming her for

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