Today I seemed to have forgotten who I am
I seemed to have forgotten the truth about me
I woke up with sin dancing in my heart and an empty stomach, a dry mouth
My cup was empty and my refrigerator was just cold
So I called him
I knew I shouldn’t have but you see sin was burning a hole in me
I needed a fix
I needed something to fill this void
And for some reason I had convinced myself that lying on this man’s chest was just what I needed
I had convinced myself that his I love yous were enough to fill my cup
As though this was all I created for
I realized in that moment that a man doesn’t need to undress you to disgrace you
That stepping and tip toeing around sin can still get you burned
I left and went home just as empty and dirty as before
You see I think I have an obsession with things temporary
I keep forgetting.. No actually I keep remembering that I am not worthy of this love that this God wants to give me
He got down on one knee and proposed to me, what sense did that make
So I dropped off my spirit and peace in a closet with the rest of my skeletons
I don’t why I did but I know that I did
Today for some reason, I was plagued with amnesia and stupidity
I stared at my reflection and saw weakness
A body that was supposed to be a temple, a sanctuary for the Lord but something so holy wouldn’t dwell in this place
Until I hit it, rock bottom……
Third bottle of rum, tenth missed call and a God calling my name
So God, Here I am
Arms outstretched, empty cup, empty heart
Broken and used
And I pray you see me as more than just an old rag
Find me worthy again oh God
Fill this cup, this void
You walked in water so I know I was never drown in it, not even these tears
Holy Spirit save me from me
Today I just want to be filled
With you
