Thursday Throwback Poetry

Today I seemed to have forgotten who I am

I seemed to have forgotten the truth about me

I woke up with sin dancing in my heart and an empty stomach, a dry mouth

My cup was empty and my refrigerator was just cold

So I called him

I knew I shouldn’t have but you see sin was burning a hole in me

I needed a fix

I needed something to fill this void

And for some reason I had convinced myself that lying on this man’s chest was just what I needed

I had convinced myself that his I love yous were enough to fill my cup

As though this was all I created for

I realized in that moment that a man doesn’t need to undress you to disgrace you

That stepping and tip toeing around sin can still get you burned

I left and went home just as empty and dirty as before

You see I think I have an obsession with things temporary

I keep forgetting.. No actually I keep remembering that I am not worthy of this love that this God wants to give me

He got down on one knee and proposed to me, what sense did that make

So I dropped off my spirit and peace in a closet with the rest of my skeletons

I don’t why I did but I know that I did

Today for some reason, I was plagued with amnesia and stupidity

I stared at my reflection and saw weakness

A body that was supposed to be a temple, a sanctuary for the Lord but something so holy wouldn’t dwell in this place

Until I hit it, rock bottom……

Third bottle of rum, tenth missed call and a God calling my name

So God, Here I am

Arms outstretched, empty cup, empty heart

Broken and used

And I pray you see me as more than just an old rag

Find me worthy again oh God

Fill this cup, this void

You walked in water so I know I was never drown in it, not even these tears

Holy Spirit save me from me

Today I just want to be filled

With you

 

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