Why So Distant?

Sin will always put distance between you and God. It will build a barrier that makes you think you can never be close enough to touch the hand of God. Sin is the opposite of all that is God and all that is truth and peace. When you are living in sin, the devil feels as though this is his opportune moment to trap you and if you don’t realize what he is doing, then he will succeed. The thing about sin is that it is appealing, especially to our flesh. We all know the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.

I’ll share a personal example. These past few weeks I have felt so far from God; thinking that because of my sins and because I have been disobedient, He would not help me. I kept feeling like I had to hide from Him and  the distance became so great that I stopped caring because I had made myself believe that God had stopped caring. Crazy, huh? But in spite of my iniquities, God kept blessing me with so much. I kept feeling His grace pouring out on me, His Holy Spirit kept comforting and speaking to me. But it didn’t make any sense to me.. Here I am doing everything He keeps telling me not to do, yet He keeps blessing me and it hit me: God’s love and how He treats me, is NOT in any way a reflection of my love and treatment of Him. Yes, this is something that somewhere deep in my thoughts and heart that I already knew but at this very moment I was feeling it.

It’s like being a child and your mom says to not eat any cookies before dinner but you do. And after your hands and face are full of cookie crumbs, you run and hide so that mom or dad does not find you. (Remember how Adam and Eve ran and hid themselves.) But this time even though you know you disobeyed Mom and Dad, you run to them. You show them your hands and face, you see the disappointment on their faces but instead of being yelled at, they pick you up and hold you. This is what God had been doing to me this entire time. Yes, I kept messing up and being disobedient but God showed me my growth and progress. Because a year ago, every time Lise would mess up she would run from God. Sometimes, I’d run so far from God that I felt as though He had forgotten about me, but that could never happen. Now, I don’t run away from Him but I run to Him when I mess. I show Him the filth on my hands and I confess and His conviction pierces my hear. He picks me up and holds me as though I’ve done nothing wrong. That’s the kind of love God has for me and for you.

Yes, sin can build a barrier around our hearts and spirits towards God but you don’t have to let it. Run to God, confess and say “Lord I am messing everything up. I am letting my circumstances drive me to wordily sins and desire, hoping that they will make me feel better but at what price? I can’t do this on my own and I am sorry for my transgressions agaisnt  you. I don’t want to live in sin because you don’t dwell in sin. Restore me God and forgive me. Help to always run to you and never away from you. Help me to never put anything above or before you. Not school, not my frustrations or struggles. Not my selfish desires…nothing God. For I know if I seek first your kingdom, everything shall fall in its place as your Will sees fit. Lord, just put that fire and desire for you back inside of me for I know you have chosen me before I knew what sin was and I want to be obedient and I want to make you proud. So Lord, please help me. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.”

Take back control, run back to God and trust that your obedience to Him all things shall pass, all victory will be yours, and God’s grace and love will conquer and drown out all fear, doubt, failure, frustrations, spirit of defeat, and every spirit not of God.

XOXOXO

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